50 First Dates

Date #9: Dukem Ethiopian

Dorothy Redmond — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 17:16:54 GMT

After being dry humped by a late night cat feeder (see Date #8) my enthusiasm for dating had waned dramatically. I spent a few weeks becoming a bitter Betty with a slight prejudice towards cat owners and lumpy middle aged men. A brief love affair with ice cream helped, as well as endless hours of listening to Corrine Bailey Rae. I was almost completely ready to throw in the towel when I met “Super-hot foreign guy.”

I had just finished a meeting when he sat near me at Busboys and Poets. I noticed a dimple, bulging biceps and to my utter surprise…Spanish notes. After making continuous eye contact and exchanging smiles, I decided to stop staring at him like a serial killer and introduced myself. I learned “Super-hot...” was in town visiting friends but lived abroad teaching English. Sadly, he only had a few more nights in the District, so I boldly invited him out that evening for a VIP tour of D.C. He agreed and after a little flirtatious banter, we parted ways to prepare for our night out on the town.

We started with dinner and drinks at Dukem Ethiopian restaurant on U Street. Since we both were on self-proclaimed health kicks, we opted to share the highly recommended vegetarian platter -- an array of colorful dishes from greens and yellow lentils to a tomato salad sparked with jalapenos. In true Ethiopian tradition, patrons are encouraged to eat with their fingers and to my delight; “Super-hot” took this fact in stride. He grabbed his injera (a crepe like bread served with every meal) and expertly scooped each tantalizing bite with ease. As he licked each morsel from his fingers, I had to remind myself I was a good God-fearing Christian woman as I banished the many naughty thoughts and inappropriate jokes from my mind.

After dinner, we decided to take a stroll as I filled him in on the history of U Street. Conversation was easy and flowed as we talked about life, and future aspirations. As we walked and talked, he shared his philosophy on dating and it really resonated with me. He explained that, “Dating is like a dance with each dancer moving to their own beat. The key was to find a partner willing to dance to your rhythm.”

I was finding his beat to be hypnotic and exotic as he shared tales of his life in a distant land. We laughed often and when he flashed that dimple my way…I was sooooo ready to salsa! However, my good girl tendencies prevailed as always. We ended the night with a quick tour of Chinatown and chicken and mumbo sauce for the journey home. Our time together was brief but it served to remind me that great guys still exist…you just may need a passport to find them!

Lessons Learned

1. Making the first move is a great move. There’s nothing wrong with a girl going for what she wants!

2. International love affairs are fun but fleeting. Be prepared for the inevitable goodbye.

3. Every person you meet is in your life for a reason, season, or lifetime. We never know how long so pay attention to the life lessons each person brings.

Date #8: Dry Humping at The Saloon

Dorothy Redmond — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 17:27:11 GMT

Some dates are so horrible you just have to take time to reflect and regroup. So after several weeks of a self imposed dating sabbatical, and a flash mob to declare my single status, I’m back! Call me a glutton for punishment or a sucker for love but I am more determined than ever to overcome the cesspool that has become dating in D.C. I know that statement is uber harsh but after the date that almost rendered me hopeless, you will understand why I’m on “Bitter Betty” Lane.

Let me start by saying I .WAS. DRY. HUMPED!!!!

It ended badly and oh so sooo sadly, but my date with “Dry Humper” actually began with a lot of promise. He was a friend of a friend, so we often saw each other at social events in the DMV. He was witty and smart which helped me overlook the slightly receding hairline and pudginess. I loved that he knew the most obscure details of the solar system and best of all he was funny and I love funny!

We agreed to meet up on U street for happy hour drinks and after bar hopping up and down the historical corridor, we settled in at The Saloon. The DC pub has built a solid fan following for it’s top shelf beers and emphasis on the human connection. Unlike typical bars, there’s no TVs and music is kept to a minimum to encourage the lost art of conversation.

It was a perfect enclave for a first date. We settled into a quiet corner and began the verbal dance of “getting to know you” while sipping European beer and savoring their signature sirloin steak. During our game of twenty questions, I learned he was 42, divorced, had several advanced degrees and one adorable kid.

Several hours and cocktails later, we sang our favorite theme songs to childhood shows, thumb wrestled and decided we would be friends forever! It was all going extremely well when he suddenly “remembered” he was house sitting and was supposed to feed his friend’s cat. I REALLY wish I was exaggerating but that is EXACTLY what he said. The sadder part of this story is that I actually believed him and I have concluded that this is somehow my parents fault for not schooling me better about life, because when he suggested I ride with him to go feed said cat, I agreed.

I know, I know, but remember, he was not a complete stranger to me and although the scenario was beginning to resemble an after school special on the dangers of dating, I really only thought he was going to feed the cat and then we would resume our merriment on U Street.

We pulled up to his friend’s house not far from U street and I volunteered to sit in the car since it wouldn’t take him that long to fulfill his chore, but he waved me in. I entered a very elegant home with lots of pictures of a "Cosby Show"-ish looking family and admired the artwork in the foyer.

To his credit, he actually fed the cat, a chubby tabby with an haughty attitude, before returning to the living room (where I was now seated on the couch) and clicking on the television. I assumed that he was only channel surfing to get a quick sports fix since he had been sans a TV at the pub. To my surprise, he flipped past ESPN and settled on some sappy movie before turning to me with an attempt at a first kiss. I turned my head just in time to avoid a lip lock and ended up with a lick on the cheek. There was an awkward silence which I used to suggest that we leave.

Being in some random person’s house under the pretense of cat feeding is never good for foreplay but what came next was the most epic first date flub EVER!

After the moment of embarrassment, he asked me for a hug. He looked so awkward and up until that moment we had been having a great night, so I hugged him. To my surprise, he gave me a full body hug accented by three quick, grinding, pelvic thrusts!!!

It was soooo ewwwwwwwwww!

I gave him a quick karate chop to the neck and shoulders to break up his one sided humpfest and to exclaim "OMG, WTF?"

Despite his sheepish apologies, I decided to take the train home and made a beeline for the door. I‘m still not quite sure why he decided my exit was a good moment for a dry hump but I was thoroughly eeked out.

Lessons Learned:

1. Dry humping is no joke! Don’t get me wrong, dry humping responsibly can be a lot of fun but only if both parties are into it.

2. Never fall for the "I have to feed the cat" line. You WILL get dry humped!!!!

3. Trust your gut, if you don’t feel comfortable being completely alone with your date, don’t do it! My romantic mishap was all laughs and jokes but the night could have had really unfunny ending if the unwanted advances had not stopped immediately when I spoke up.

Date 7: Carolina Kitchen

Dorothy Redmond — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 14:05:06 GMT

It was a dating mirage, dinner and deep conversations on Valentine’s Day weekend with a “Clever Wordsmith”. We met through a mutual associate and he seemed to have the makings of a great guy. He was funny, cute and passionate about his craft, but best of all he had a slick way of talking that appealed to the part of me that wasn’t raised right. After exchanging messages on a social network over a random weekend, he suggested we meet for an interview about an upcoming project. I pointed out that the project was still months away and he pointed out that we still needed to eat.

I wasn’t hungry but he was, so we agreed to meet at Carolina Kitchen for dinner and libations that evening. The idea of dinner at the Hyattsville eatery, considered one of the premier restaurants in the DMV for southern cuisine, was enough to set my mouth watering.

Owner Lance London has created an elegant yet artistic environment with a down home feel. Upon arrival, you are greeted with a cheery “welcome, welcome, welcome” and treated to menu selections such as the “Ma Pearl specialties” named for his grandmother and inspiration for his chain of restaurants. Every patron is treated like a long lost relative and often greeted personally by London himself who is often onsite to add to the family atmosphere.

Menu fan favorites include: Creole Grilled Salmon, fresh, grilled 8oz Norwegian salmon with a New Orleans Style cream sauce with lump crabmeat & shrimp served over garlic mashed potatoes, macaroni & cheese and collard greens and Southern Fried Pork Chops, two country fried pork chops served over rice covered in grandma's gravy with macaroni & cheese and collard greens. If you go be sure to sample signature drinks Caribbean Kiss (Malibu Mango Rum, Sloi Peach Vodka, Pineapple Liqueur and a splash of Pineapple Juice) and Cosmorita (Patrón Silver Tequila, Triple Sec, Lime and Cranberry Juice or one of their homemade desserts, (the banana pudding makes me happy)!

I opted for an appetizer of savory catfish tenders and between bites I quickly learned “Clever Wordsmith” and I shared many things in common. We had a mutual love of writing, humble roots and a wickedly sarcastic sense of humor. From the moment we were seated our conversation, flowed nonstop as we shared our dreams, dating disasters and childhood stories. As we compared notes on what we were looking for in a mate, the tone of the evening began to feel very datish.

Was this a date?

He had originally invited me out for work purposes but we had agreed to postpone the interview. So why had he asked to meet over dinner? In fact, he could have just conducted the whole interview over the phone; hmmm maybe this was a date!

It certainly was starting to feel like one and it certainly looked like one. Couples surrounded us as far as the eye could see; after all it was Valentines weekend. I decided to test the waters; I casually mentioned that I had a friend who thought he was really cute. He seemed caught by surprise by the admission but took it in stride. Our conversation continued to flow and he mentioned a quote from one of my articles which left me speechless.

He actually read my pieces!!! To a writer there is nothing more seductive than someone that really knows your work. My articles are my children so his compliment was the equivalent of him telling me that my children were beautiful. Regardless of whether it was sincere or not the fact that he was well acquainted with my work put him on another level. He had suddenly gotten way cuter, way funnier and the evening was quickly becoming one of the best dates that wasn’t (or was it) ever!

I found myself leaning in more; smiling more …… then the bill came.

And I got my answer; we were NOT on a date at all! Maybe I’m spoiled or a little naïve but my portion of the bill only equated to $8.57 since I never got around to ordering anything more than my appetizer and water. He had enjoyed a drink as well as an entree but he instructed our server to split the bill!!!! This meant I was not only paying for my food but a portion of his as well. It was our first time out together so I was a little taken aback. Wasn’t he the one who suggested we go out to eat? Wasn’t the one who suggested usually the one who pays?

In all my adventures with the opposite sex I had NEVER had a guy suggest we go Dutch our first time out, date or not. It wasn’t because I was opposed to paying, I’ve treated and I have gone Dutch in groups but NEVER in an intimate setting. As we settled the bill, I settled “Clever Wordsmith” solidly in the “friend” category in my mind.

Maybe I was spoiled the men in my life have always treated me like a lady. I come from a cross cultural household and in my father’s village if a man is interested he would bring the family a goat or at minimum a rooster, so I was shocked that I wasn’t even worth an appetizer????

This was definitely not a date!

Lessons Learned:

1. Make sure you bring your own goat! Always be prepared to pay, you never know where the evening will lead. Don’t assume you dining companion is your personal sponsor.

2. Make your dating intentions clear. Sometimes signals can be mixed and although it’s awkward to ask it put your feelings on the table. A simple question like am I someone you would be interested in can quickly clear the air or at least set the tone for the evening.

3. Don’t invite a girl out on Valentines weekend if you have no romantic interest. It’s a single girl’s personal hell to be single on that day and even worse to be out on that day with a guy who likes you but not like that.

Date #6: Flair Fit Body Blast Class

Dorothy Redmond — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 20:13:24 GMT

This was the date where I got physical! I have to admit my first encounter with a romantic interest does not usually include sweat, swearing and physical exhaustion but Date #6 was the date that took my body to it’s limit. It all started when I decided to double date with Angie Corley, fab radio personality, and our dates “Good Guy” and Modern Griot”. Since I am currently training for a fitness competition and Anji is super in shape for no reason at all, we decided it would be fun to check out Fit Flair‘s Body Blast Boot Camp in Upper Marlboro, MD. After all, the body blast class would be a great workout, a good opportunity our dates would rate on endurance and not to mention a sneaky way to check out their physiques!

Flair Fitness offers personal and group fitness training as well as nutritional guidance and supplements. (I’m a fan of their lean mass protein powder and multi vitamins). The uber popular Body Blast classes and boot camps led by trainer to the stars Super Dave provides a fun, fast paced environment to tone and tune up your body. Classes are offered Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 5am, Saturdays at 9am and additional evening classes at 7pm on Mon and Wednesdays only.

I arrived at the fitness center a little late due to bad weather and an extended wardrobe changes (it’s difficult to rock out in spandex when you still are a little lumpy) to a class already in session. Anji and her date were already doing” the most “with an advanced sit up/ leg extension exercise that made me feel so sad because I knew I would have to join in. Her date was a cute, teddy bear type with a great smile and they seemed to have already bonded during sprints and jumping jacks which made me happy to see.

I was even happier to see my date striding towards me like a super hero in a movie. Tall and ripped, my “Modern Griot” had a nice combination of rugged good looks yet a gentle demeanor. He was a fellow writer and regular at Flair fitness and he generously offered to help me with my form and technique as I clumsily moved through the routines. I took a moment to admire his manliness as he effortlessly dropped to the floor in a few one handed pushups. I paused my workout in order to replay that move over and over in my mind but my special moment in time was ruined when Super Dave spied me slacking and ended my joy with a few extra sit ups.

I have to admit getting to know someone in between grunts and leg extensions is tough especially when you are not as in shape as you originally thought. Despite being tardy for the party, I started my workout session with trash talking that would have made Mohammad Ali proud. That lasted about 15 minute before I was sprawled out on the floor panting and gasping for breath. At the end of the workout, my date surprised me by reciting a beautiful poem before we said goodbye. Although impressed, I was more preoccupied by the funky smells emanating from my body and debating whether I should even give him a hug goodbye. I mean who wants a hug from a funky diva? We parted on an awkward note with our chapter unfinished but not yet completed.

What I learned from this date:

1. I am not as in shape as I thought, it’s definitely time to step my workouts up! Body Blast provided a great balance of physically challenge as well as fun.

2. A group setting makes it a little harder to bond one on one. There were a lot of hot and tempting bodies bouncing around that fitness center during our body blast experience, next time I may wait till I worked off half a year of cheeseburgers before I suggest bringing someone to workout with me.

3. It is hard to have a conversation when you are gasping for air. (See above)

4. Although not a traditional date working out together taught us about each other’s character very quickly. I admired my date’s tenacity and commitment to health and I showcased my wimpyness and determination. Also all vanity is thrown out the window during a workout like that so if your date is shallow, this might not be the best choice for a night out.

Since I shared this date experience with my buddy Anji, I wanted to get her feedback on our dating experience, here’s what she had to say:

Anji’s Take on the date: Sit-up, Crunches and Squats, Oh My!

I’ve done the “group” thing before, but this was truly a first. Whoa, after you get your mind out of the gutter, let me explain. I participated in a group workout date that immediately went from “Hi, what’s your name?” to a sweat-wiping, “How many reps did we do?” or “Come on you can do it” hour that’s guaranteed to get me into my tiny bikini by the summer and maybe even change an upcoming travel reservation from party of 1 to party of 2. Hmmmm. For 60 minutes, my “date”, Big Herk and I got intimate during this enjoyable, beneficial and unique outing as I sweated, grunted and leaned (literally) on him and the other 50 First Date Crew. Unlike most dates, we dressed in our worst outfits and left stinky, exhausted and wanting to sleep alone. The hip hop beats and back-in-the-day joints distracted us from Super Dave, the boot camp instructor, kicking out butts! I quickly learned who I was huffing and puffing with and would crunch to it again!

Date #5: One Lounge

Dorothy Redmond — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 22:17:34 GMT

For Valentine’s Day, I wanted to share a very special bonus edition of 50 First dates for all my die hard romantics. This was the date I fell in love…with Seth’s hair. It all began with a date with “Mr. Laid Back”, “Sex with a Bartender,” and a newfound crew of ultimate wing women!

I was at the airport and juggling my laptop and a latte when my eyes met with a cutie across the crowded room. I smiled and he smiled (I was on a cell phone) before my eyes and attention went back to my computer screen and looming deadline. To my surprise, I heard a baritone over my shoulder and turned to see, “Mr. Laid Back” standing beside me.

“Have we met before?” he said flashing the pearly whites once again. Man he WAS cute! Under normal circumstances the question would have seemed corny and cliché, but we HAD met before. Turns out we were from the same hometown, had many mutual friends and he had actually modeled in a charity fashion show I had produced years before. We happily played catch up, exchanged information and promises to see each other when we returned to town.

After a few phone calls, we agreed to meet for cocktails, dinner and a little dancing at One Lounge, one of DuPont Circle’s newest hotspots. From the moment I walked in, the trendy vibe, house beats and hot bartenders set the tone for a grown and sexy night.

We were greeted by a statuesque brunette and led past an array miscellaneous attractive people to “the coat room”, also known as my new happiest place on earth. The intimate enclave started as just that in the bar’s former life before it's transformation into one of the lounge’s coolest amenities. The semi private room (there’s no door) is located near the first floor bar (bonus) and is adorned with tea lights, leather seating and a VIP vibe. True to One Lounge’s upscale feel with down to earth appeal, “the coat room” is available on a first come, first basis (you only have to ask if it is available).

We had just settled into our seats when it happened. You know that moment in a movie when time slows, the music swells and a beacon of light appears? That’s how I felt when I first laid eyes on the most perfect coif, I had ever seen. Dark, shiny and oh so perfect, One Lounge's co-owner Seth McClelland's hair stole my heart, my mind and soul with one flip.

Seth himself was a charming, informative host providing a brief overview of the history One Lounge before fading soundlessly away as our equally hot Russian server took our drink orders. I missed his hair immediately.

One Lounge has a diverse menu selection ranging gourmet comfort and healthy choices as well as an extensive selection of signature drinks with unforgettable monikers. I decided to have “Sex with a Bartender, (coconut rum, baileys, grenadine, triple sec, lime juice and sprite) which made me very happy AND I did not regret it the next morning one bit while my date enjoyed a whisky and ginger ale.

I have to admit, I was in sensory overload, and there was so much to marvel. Like the Seinfeld episode of the underground gatherings of beautiful people, One Lounge had eye candy as far as the eye could see! In addition, the Lounge is deceptively spacious with multiple rooms to explore including a second floor bar area available for private events at no additional charge (I love this place) and a dance room that features everything from house to old school hip hop. As Seth and his hair informed us, the vision for the establishment was to have a place where professionals could enjoy good food and good music in a stylish atmosphere without pretention.

Fueled by my “Sex…” I decided to roam the elegantly decorated rooms on a discovery mission. Like Dorothy, from the Wiz, I collected a mismatched group of new friends including a set of wing women I met in the bathroom, some party goers from an event upstairs and two random guys from the bar. I brought my merry band back to "the coat room" just in time to enjoy a glass of Piper champagne and fried cheesecake.

By the night’s end, I realized I knew everything I ever needed to know in life about Seth’s hair, my wing women’s love life, the grilled chicken and asparagus I had for dinner and which nights were best for dancing….unfortunately I hadn’t learned much about my date. I had planned an event, danced a two step with my newfound friends and completely proved myself to be a horrible first date to the sweetest most laid back guy I had ever met in an airport! Thank heavens for do overs, hopefully I can redeem myself on date two!

Things I learned from this date:

1. Do not have Date ADD: Focus on the person you are with! I would have raised holy hell if a guy had brought a bunch of randoms (albeit fun randoms) into our space. I was actually very rude to do so

2. Openly lusting after Seth’s hair is never nice when on a date with someone else. At one point I actually ran my fingers through it. Not. Ok. Dorothy.

3. One Lounge is Fun! Great music, great people and great hair make a cool hang!

4. One Lounge is running a Valentine's day special of Piper Champagne and dessert for love day! This is the perfect choice for a first or 50th date but don't fall victim to dating ADD! The eyecandy in this place is plentiful!

Date #4: Bar 7

Dorothy Redmond — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 21:25:06 GMT

For my fourth date I headed to Bar 7 for the BMW Uptown party. This industry event was the perfect backdrop for the professional crowd filled with movers and shakers including my date “Mr. Creative”. We met a few weeks prior when our eyes locked on the Metro, (I was exiting, he was entering) and, like a scene from a movie, he dashed up the escalator behind me to introduce himself. Usually I wouldn’t be so receptive to a stranger during my commute, but he had the most disarming smile and he was mad cute! After a quick conversation and flirtations, we exchanged digits and began the dance of “getting to know you.”

From the first hello, there was a spark. His easygoing nature and sense of humor made him feel like a long lost friend instead of a random guy I met on a Metro platform. We quickly discovered we shared a love of the arts, inappropriate jokes and family values. Our chemistry was evident and we decided that above all our budding friendship was something neither one of us wanted to lose. We made a pact that no matter what the outcome of our romantic efforts, we would try to respect the bond we were forming, but how do you do that without crossing certain lines? Do you ignore physical attraction? And what happens if the other starts seriously dating someone else? Luckily for us, our story was just beginning and this was about the simple enjoyment of the first date……right?

On the day of the date, he sent me cute little messages to tell me how much he looked forward to seeing me, which I have to admit put a smile on my face. As I prepared for our evening out, my sister teased me for the extra effort I put into my wardrobe selection and my nervous primping before heading out the door. I have to admit, I was looking forward to seeing him.

My extra glam time payed off since nights at Bar 7 always feels like a red carpet affair, tucked away in the shadow of the Convention Center, this intimate, low-key lounge can be considered a hide out for the secret society of “pretty people”. Popular with the “in crowd” you never know who will be spotted chilling there. A who’s who list of professional athletes, actors, singers and celebrities like Trey Songz, Clinton Portis, Lebron James and Wale, are just a few of the famous faces seen here but that night “Mr. Creative’s” smile was the star of the show.

We settled into our section and grooved to the music while snacking on a savory selection of Bar 7’s small plates. The Philly Wontons, (lightly fried and served with your choice of two homemade dipping sauces) and Shrimp and Plantains, (jumbo shrimp and South American plantains) were our favorite menu selections as well as the patriotic “Barack”, (Absolut, vanilla vodka, Godiva milk chocolate liquor, Godiva white chocolate liquor) their signature cocktail.

The event featured auto themed drink specials and guest interviews by April Jones, who served as the event’s hostess. As I was interviewed by the delightful diva about my dating adventures in D.C., Mr. Creative scored a few cool points for his patience. Since it was a “networking” event for me, I have to admit my attention was divided as I greeted friends and colleagues. I did my best to include him in conversations when I could but I think at times I was a little neglectful. To his credit, my date was a trooper. He blended in effortlessly with my friends during my busy moments and kept me smiling and laughing throughout the night.

Bar 7 has two levels and we took a moment to explore and discovered that the lower floor features a mirror clad dance floor and a second bar area perfect for private events and birthday celebrations. I fought back the urge to let my inner Beyonce free as I watched our reflections but instead made a mental note to return for one of the venues weekend club nights for a few dance battles. After all, this was a first date and I needed to maintain my cool so I settled for a subtle two step and occasional shoulder shimmy as we made our rounds in the club. By the time we said our goodbyes at the end of the night, I realized I had found a new hangout and best of all….. a new friend.

Things learned from this date:

1. There are still “good” guys out there but it’s like finding a needle in a haystack!

2. Networking events are not the best choice for a first date. It puts you in the awkward position of introducing someone you are not sure you like to important business contacts and the person may or may not be a good representative on your behalf.

3. Although it wasn’t planned, meeting my friends isn’t usually something that happens on the first date. Let the person earn the privilege to meet the VIPs in your world.

4. Lastly, go with flow. My date was great at keeping the evening pressue. I was able to enjoy his company without worrying about the what if's.

Also, for all my sexy singles: BAR 7 is hosting BE MINE VALENTINE SINGLES in the CITY on Monday, February 14th, 2011, an evening for singles to bask in the comfort of sexy décor while delighting in Valentine’s Day. The event will feature specialty cocktails, a complimentary chocolate fondue fountain and live music by Black Alley.

Date #3: Busboys and Poets

Wed, 02 Feb 2011 17:41:17 GMT

Busboys and Poets is probably one of my favorite places on the planet. Owner Andy Shallal has created an artist oasis in this popular multi-restaurant chain that features food, a performance space and book store. Poetry and political activism are the central themes of the eatery inspired by Langston Hughes, who once worked as a busboy before becoming a literary legend. The eclectic flagship restaurant on 14th and V has been my refuge on deadline days or whenever I need an extra ounce of creativity. Busboys is also considered a hotspot for intellectual discussion with history makers, and artists alike. It isn’t uncommon to see famous faces sipping lattes or perusing the restaurants bookstore so I felt this was the perfect location for my slightly celeb dinner date.

Unfortunately, it was a dating disaster from the first hello. I met “Pro Athlete” when he literally stopped traffic in his fancy smancy car to ask for my phone number. He actually beckoned me to approach his window and I informed him I was not for sale and reminded him to not behave like he was raised in a barn. He promptly exited his car, leaving it in the middle of traffic to convince me to exchange digits. Honking horns, and a few random people yelling support convinced me to acquiesce. Our dramatic introduction was just the beginning for an unforgettable first and last date.

I have to admit, I had my reservations about dating a professional athlete. I wasn’t quite sure if I was really interested. It didn’t help that my friends were pressuring me to make a love connection so they could get season tickets and recruit my new beau for our flag football team. It also didn’t help that I completely forgot about our date and was over an hour late because I went to a play!

To his credit, “Pro Athlete” actually waited until I arrived and instead of reading me the riot act greeted me with a hug. I was charmed until I noticed his dating ensemble. He was wearing form-fitting but saggy skinny jeans, topped with a Michael Jackson "Thriller"-esque jacket and multi-color gym shoes. As we were led to our table, I felt like I was walking with a Christmas tree. But who I am to talk? I was over an HOUR late! I wasn’t winning any cool points myself.

As we settled into dinner, the conversation centered on our careers and I really struggled to understand the nuances of a sport that I only watched to admire the backsides of the players not the actual plays. So our discussion was mostly one sided. He eventually complimented me on my ability to, “talk real good” (his words not mine) and I just smiled. He was cute, (when he wasn’t speaking) and we were at my favorite restaurant. Life was good.

Busboys has an extensive menu of American fare with delicious vegan and healthy options as well as good old fashioned comfort food. I opted for the Homemade Meatloaf with a red wine sauce, served with mashed potatoes, sautéed mushrooms and spinach (made with all-natural, free-range, grass-fed beef from Grayson Farm, VA), and snuck bites of his Blackened Salmon with a lemon butter sauce, served with wild rice and asparagus, topped with a tomato, corn and shallot salsa.

At some point, our conversation took on a sensual tone and I learned in no uncertain terms what “Pro Athlete” would like to do with me in the bedroom if I would only go home with him that evening. I was pretty amazed at his boldness and asked him how often he was tested for STD’s. I guess that line of sexy talk didn’t float his boat because the conversation kind of stalled after that. The night ended with Chocolate Layer cake and hugs and promises to keep in touch…

We didn’t.

What this date taught me:

Go with your gut. You can’t force a spark where there is none.
The "soggy diaper" look is never a good look on a grown man
Duh, REMEMBER YOU HAVE A DATE! It is obnoxious to be more than 15 minutes late for a first date
Pull back on the sexy talk if it’s obvious your love interest isn’t interested
Busboys also has film screenings and poetry readings. These are great first date options for those looking for an activity instead of a traditional dinner date.

Dorothy's One Drink Wonder Suggestion: The Langston Cooler - Captain Morgan, Meyers, orange juice, lime, splash of Cranberry, Sprite, Peach Schnapps

Stay tuned for next week: Bar 7

Date #2: Ben's Next Door

Wed, 26 Jan 2011 16:08:19 GMT

Each week our dating diva Dorothy will share her personal experiences from living the single life on her 50 First Dates blog. From restaurants to bars to fun romantic activities, she'll navigate you through the treacherous terrain that is dating in D.C. Even if you're not single, you can still get the scoop on some of the District's best romantic spots (and what to order), fun date ideas, and even tips to keep your love life happy.

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By Dorothy Tene' Redmond

My second first date actually started by chance. I wanted to go to a place where everyone knew my name…well, not quite everyone. (Logan and Rob, whose family owns Ben’s Chili Bowl and Next Door, always make me feel welcome when I walk in the door.) In fact the warm reception for not only me but everyone is why I consider Ben's Next Door my D.C. version of Cheers.

The warm ambiance and all around air of friendliness is how I met Mr. Conservative, a cute and cuddly older gentleman with a southern twang. We sang along with the steady mix of 90’s and 80’s R&B hits ever omnipresent at Next Door for at least an A & B selection before he offered to buy me a drink. I explained I wasn’t much of a drinker and it really wasn’t appropriate or cool to ask someone to buy you a plate of crab cakes, so he asked me to have dinner. So we did, right there and then.

Next Door has a unique architectural design, it’s basically shaped like the letter L, with the bar area being the most narrow and liveliest area. The bar is definitely a fun place to hang out especially if you are lucky enough to get seating and most of the bartenders are cute and generous with the drinks. (Kat makes the best Blueberry Caiprioska, a fan favorite of muddled blueberries, lime, and blueberry vodka!)

However, I was on a date and Mr. Conservative and I were in the mood for a more secluded experience, so we grabbed a table in the rear of the restaurant where conversation was much easier to manage.

Over appetizers, I learned he was a father of two, divorced and a registered Republican. While we debated politics, I debated whether I could really date someone with a daughter one year younger than myself. However, the conversation was flowing and I was comfortable enough to share my Tostones (non-sweet plantains) with him between playful barbs.

Despite the age difference, I had to admit to myself, I was having a great time. His intelligence and slight arrogance displayed a confidence that I found to be intriguing. But I had never dated someone with such a wide age gap: His first concert was the Jackson Five and he was already a grandfather.

As we made our way through the main course, the conversation remained as flavorful as my dinner selection. (I had the crispy skin salmon and sautéed spinach) and my date was showing signs he was very comfortable with me as the tone of our conversation became more serious and extremely personal.

In fact, Mr. Conservative was rapidly entering the arena of "over share." I was learning wayyyy too much information about his ex-wife, their sex life, finances and family dynamics. What began as a fun and flirty night quickly eroded into a therapy session and I was being paid in crab cakes and salmon. Not that I was complaining; the food was excellent. I just didn’t want to know so much and so soon.

By dessert, I had learned enough to know there definitely would not be a date two and I was offering to buy the drinks by night’s end.

Lessons Learned on this date:

1. I don’t need to know that now. Conversations about bunions, child support payments and alcoholic relatives are not quite first date friendly. Hold back intimate details of your life until you establish a firm foundation of friendship.

2. Age sometimes is just a number. I never thought I could connect with someone a decade older but until the over share, I had a GREAT time. This date actually helped me expand my window to learn to focus more on the chemistry than DOB.

3. Too much too soon is too much! You can’t approach dating like fast food, sometimes you have to learn to let things simmer instead of forcing instant intimacy.

4. Dorothy’s one drink wonder: Moscato with a dash of St. Jermaine is a deliciously sweet way to end the night! Thanks Next Door for introducing me to this yummy combination.

Stay tuned for next week: Busboys and Poets...

Introduction

Wed, 19 Jan 2011 16:39:59 GMT

Fifty first dates... Okay, I admit I never actually saw the movie, but the literal idea -- the pure adventure of it all -- seems intoxicating to a reforming serial monogamist like me. After almost a decade of consistent coupledom, I decided to truly try something different; dating for the sake of dating. No promises of ever after, no parental intros, just a series of moments over brunch, lunch, dinner or events in some of DC's hotspots.

Over the next weeks I invite you to be my virtual wingwo/man as I navigate the treacherous terrain that is dating in DC. Log in often as
I share dating tips, fun date ideas, restaurant and bar reviews, and details of all the fun!

-Dorothy Tene' Redmond

Date #1: Buddha Bar

Wed, 26 Jan 2011 15:09:57 GMT

First up, Buddha Bar!

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Thank God you can't get pregnant from atmosphere! The pure sex appeal of this Asian fusion restaurant/bar set the tone for a seductive night. It was the perfect backdrop for my date with "Handsome." We originally met at a happy hour and quickly bonded over our secret love of reality shows. We exchanged numbers and agreed to meet for dinner and cocktails later in the week.

I quickly learned “Handsome” was a master at text romance. In the days leading up to our first date, I received morning greetings and flirtations throughout the day but not a single, solitary phone call! I’m not really big on texting since I write for a living; the last thing I want to do in my downtime is try to be clever within a character count. Maybe he was just one of those people that preferred face to face conversations.

I arrived at Buddha Bar and he greeted me with a kiss on the cheek and an approving gaze for my form-fitting cocktail dress. He was as attractive as I remembered and I swear we spent the first few minutes just enjoying the mutual eye candy before we began the standard getting-to-know-you background questions.

Despite the restaurant’s amorous mood, despite a strong physical attraction, our rendezvous stayed pretty PG-rated as we discussed favorite movies and music, before a slow roll to......crickets.

I quickly learned that Handsome had a spoken word count more limited than his text messages! I kept trying to bring up different topics and questions only to be road blocked with one word and vague answers. To my dismay, none of the easy banter we initially experienced seemed to be working in our favor that night.

Although the chemistry was off, I quickly found a new love interest in alcohol to help me bide my time. Buddha Bar has an extensive sake selection and a pretty talented team of mixologists to create custom concoctions, but I found myself falling in love with one of the restaurant’s signature drinks; a Strawberry Blonde. The drink is a mixture of vodka and strawberry puree and is deliciously and deceptively potent.

Since I am pretty much a one drink wonder, I switched to soda before I got too tipsy. My commitment to sobriety didn’t help, our chemistry continued to fizzle out along with the bubbles in my soft drink as the night progressed.

We ate in almost virtual silence accented by an occasional smile and inquiry on each other’s food. (Buddha's salmon sushi made me happy, but was a bit pricey for the portion size.) After catching him looking up game scores on his phone and gasp….texting, I decided it was time to bring the evening to a close. For a first date, there’s nothing worse than a stale conversation and stale drink with a virtual stranger, so I soon made my exit.

What tips this date taught me:

1. Bone up on pop culture headlines as a conversation stoker. Sometimes people are shy and take a little longer to warm up.

2. A smile goes a long way; fill the silence with a sincere grin to ease the tension.

3. An awkward pause is a great time to escape to the restroom to concoct an exit strategy.

4. Only commit to cocktails so that if the date is a dud, you don't have to suffer through dinner.

Stay tuned for next week: Ben's Next Door...

By Dorothy Tene' Redmond, Special to Metromix